cca-forest home

what a weekend. this was my first time doing cca and it was fun. loved the family that i had. i also learned a lot about the reason i didn't feel at the right place at first baptist. that was just something i was struggling with. i really wasn't sure what the real reasons on why i left but i now i figured it out. i realized at the things that a church is suppose to have, they didn't. I didn't feel like they were my family. i didn't feel like i had the i was shown love that a church shows. i was just really shown the reason why i left.

but the family i had was amazing. i had a baby and he was 3 months old. and his name is silas and he was a doll. i was the families first non-family babysitter. the first night silas really didn't want to sleep, so he didn't. we just played and he just cried a lot. the second night was better. we played and then he went to bed. i couldn't have asked for a better kid.






this is silas and he is 3 months old. he loves to play and stand.











silas loved just sitting in his boppy and talking.








Molly and I making sure the kids make is on the Zip Line and holding their stuff.










Molly and I love shakes right before dinner.









loves to eat his hands.









loves to think long and hard.

first babysitter and yeah, he is in a bear outfit

thoughts

some many things that are running through my mind. thoughts about what i am doing with my life and what i should do. not really sure what i should be doing with my life. the "norm" thing that we as people are suppose to do is go to high school and then go to college. but what if don't want to right now? well. i will then be looked down just because i don't want to go. i want to go to college but just not right now. there is so much i want to do and see. there is so much i feel god is calling me to do.

i have so much compassion for the people in the world. there are people in the world that die because they don't have clean water. they don't have food. they have things that just eat their body away. they don't have good health. they don't have the tools to get better. how can i sit here knowing that people are suffering everyday. and i am able to go to school and get an education. i am able to go to sleep at night knowing that i can wake up and know that everything is okay.

i want to be used in the world so i can help people. i hate when people are suffering. i hate to know that people are hurting. i hate to know that people are dieing ever day and that kids have to run away from their homes every night to stay safe, so they aren't taken. my heart breaks for those people.

i want to major in environmental studies/science and use it in way that i can help people. i want to see this world change. i want to be that person that makes a difference in peoples lives that need help. i want to love on the hurt and the broken. i can't be that person that just sits around knowing that we live in a broken world.