Life is a Journey

i thought we had a good day? i miss those good days that we had. where we can just sit around, laugh and forget of all the crap you have put me through. we act as if none of that had happed today. it almost seemed as if we were in the past.

i know we are suppose to live our lives in the future not the past. how am i suppose to do that when i liked what went on in the past. how i missed when we hung out at night and watched a movie and played games. when i had smile on my face everyday! i liked it in the past when things didn't get between us or should i say nothing got between you.

know i go through my days wondering is this going to be your last. wondering are you going to be real or are you going to have a substance taking over your body and mind.

i miss when you were real. i miss when it was just me and you. not you and the substance. i miss when we were both happy.

everyday i pray that you will get better so you can be here for me. i know that you will never be able to take back all the missed times that you missed, but we can start fresh when you get better. ever since i was able to understand what was going on with you, i prayed that you would get better. i prayed that one day yours and my worries would go away. and that when you told me that you loved me and that i was your special gift from god, that i could take it to heart and that you would really mean it.

i just want you back. i want to the person back that loved me. the person that didn't call me mean names and said i was a mistake and just a burden. a waste of air. only if i know that you didn't mean what you said.

i still to this day pray and will always pray for you to get better. but from what i see prayer is just not enough right now. you need more. oh so much more.