lost

i sit here with no emotion. lost in thoughts and fears. not knowing what to do with my self, but go and hid and maybe not come out for a long time. but what would that do? when sitting in the iuc this morning just thinking about what is going on and praying god gave me a picture. and it just reminded me how much i need to hold on to him and trust him. it was a picture of god leaning over the edge of a build. i was over the edge of this very tall building. he had one of my hands. he was holding onto with all that he had. he was telling, "trust me. give me your other hand and let me be the one that is in control. let me be your all." how true is this. how easy is it in this time to just allow my self e in control and not let god in control. how easy it for us to hold on to what we have, without even letting god in and have it. it is so easy for me to say that god is in control, but not really allow him to be in control and to trust.

i sit here as doctors walk by the room. they look ad then turn away ad leave. i am wait for the doctors to come in and give the update. my dad was able to here today, since he need to go to work. so today i am doctors briggs and will report to my dada when they are done. now it is just a metter of time before they come in.